Erase and Rewind.

If only I could press a rewind button and I’d go back to the times when the only problems I had were if I got that expensive toy in the mall or if I could ask mom to buy candy for me before dinner.

But as I got older my problems changed. I just wish I could go back.

I found out something tonight that I guess I didn’t take very well. I found myself in tears while I was talking to my friend on my cellphone. I found myself crying while I went to the grocery to buy something for mom.

The only time I felt like crying in public was when someone I used to know broke my heart last year.

It just sucks, you know. To get your hopes up and just be let down.

To decide to take chances and let yourself fall only to find out that the person you expected to be catching you below suddenly had second thoughts and left you crashing on the floor.

I hate being like this.

When I was young, like when I was a little kid and um until last year (lol), I always thought of marriage as stupid. I mean, how the hell won`t you get tired of seeing someone everyday, waking up to that person everyday, blah blah blah and I found it reasonable when I see people having affairs and shit like that.

But then, I had my first (real) boyfriend and I loved him with all my heart (and I even used this line) and I realized that that is what love does to people, and I did realize that when you do love someone, you will never get tired of them. My mother and I always talk about marriage and she said that the ‘kilig’ mushy feelings will sometimes fade but you will always, and I mean always, have (should have) respect and love for that person you will spend your whole life with.

Lucky you, Mimi, (and all the other girls out there who aren`t searching anymore) you got that person now.