Empty.

Some people try to hand me money, they don’t understand

I’m not broke I’m just a broken hearted man

I know it makes no sense but what else can I do

How can I move on when I’m still in love with you

Last night, I opened my school bag and found this almost-empty bottle of his cologne which I got from him. I sprayed some on my wrist and cried like I never cried before. I clutched it, not wanting to let go as if my life depended on it. I know keeping it would just hurt me so I threw it away.

I envy my mother. You see, my father was her first and last boyfriend so she never had to experience this incredibly painful, unimaginable feeling I am feeling right now and probably for the next days, weeks to come. It`s too painful that crying for one straight day is never enough. Even when I thought I was too weary or too tired to cry, I still did `cause everything around me reminds me of him. Listening to songs I used to sing before bacause I was so happily in love just makes me sad, now.

I don`t think I would heal soon. I don`t think it`s possible for me, yet, to get back on my feet and return to the happy, loving, artistic girl I used to be, now that he`s gone. Everyone`s trying to help me even though they know that nothing they can say or do would help me.

I discovered something about myself just last night and my best friend helped me discover it. I am too selfless, that even though I`m hurt, I go on, pretending everything`s fine because I love too much. I loved too much that I didn`t care what I was feeling, I suppose.

So, yeah, lesson learned, don`t ever give anyone your everything `cause when that day comes, when you least expect it, he`ll be gone and you`ll have nothing left but an empty bottle of his cologne.